The Dining Ritual Part Deux: Recasting the Lord of the Rings Movies

In a recent post about I extolled the praises of the dining ritual and how it can be a valuable resource that nurtures our social and family lives (scroll down to the post called Wine Advice 101: the Dining Ritual).  Somewhere near the end of that post I mentioned that Carla, Maria and I took it upon ourselves to recast the Lord of the Rings movies at the end of dinner one night last year.  We chose what can only be described an unassailable group comprised of both the living and the deceased.  Here, as promised, is the cast list.  Our only criterion for the group was for the reader to imagine the new actors performing their roles absolutely straight with little or no affectation.  I think we did a brilliant job but your thoughts are of course appreciated.
 
A disclaimer: before reading on please know that Carla, Maria and I are huge fans of J.R.R. Tolkien’s work.  We’ve read the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit literally dozens of times and own the movies in both DVD and Blu Ray format.  Needless to say, no disrespect in the least is intended.  With that, read on and enjoy.

Lord of the Rings Cast:

Gandalf: William Shatner

Frodo: Mike Meyers

Bilbo: Dudley Moore

Sam: Michael Jackson

Arwen: Anna Nicole Smith

Aragorn: Tom Cruise

Gimli: Verne Troyer

Pippin: Eddie Murphy

Merry: Robin Williams

Legolas: Carsten Kressley

Galadriel: Oprah

Elrond: Sean Connery

Denathor: Ozzy Osborne

Wormtongue: Ron Jeremy

Eowyn: Pamela Anderson

Eomer: Chuck Norris

Sauruman: Ricardo Montalban

Gollum: Hervé Villechaize

Boromir: Mohammed Ali

Faramir: Ricky Martin

Theoden: John Travolta

Treebeard: Keith Richards